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Sex Humor Porn Stories

Pool Excursion Part I

Sex HumorGroup SexHardcore

As you all know, after a horrible marriage and messy divorce with Sex Doll (you can read all about my failed first marriage in http://xhamster.com/posts/732273) I am now happily re-married to my new wife, whose name is Pornography Wichsentochter (pronounced Vi-xen-tok-ter) and she is a really nice woman made out of TPE (Thermo Plastic Elastomers, a material similar to Silicone, but much better) and a metal skeleton. She is also very intelligent. And here she is, just hanging around in our little love nest. Ms. Wichsentoch… Read more

Posted by jacklovedoll 2 hours ago 304

...In My House...

AnalHardcoreSex Humor

***Story written by request. This is a long one. I know, I know -- "That's what she said."*** Instatweet 1 new message I heard my cell phone's Instatweet alert chime, and looked at it. I was surprised, as I didn't get many messages, other than someone in broken English inviting me to view their webcam, provided I go to some site to verify my age. Since they invited me, I would assume they know how old I am, but, I digress. It was a bigger surprise when I discovered the message was from Lilly. We had started following each other on Instatweet, but, other than an occasional upvote… Read more

Posted by LickerLicense 5 hours ago 384 100%

Bingle

VoyeurSex HumorHardcore

When the warm wind blew in off the atolls, the islanders looked at each other with that look they sometimes had, a look that meant they felt the need, the itch, it was upon them. We on the other hand, stared out to sea, for the wind brought to us a sense of loss and loneliness. We had come to the island, and our women stolen, stolen by the rich guys, with their thugs and their d**gs. We'd watched our women, even those we thought were incorruptible, religious girls, devout girls, sacred girls, turned one by one in the lowliest kinds of sluts. And we'd been forced to buy sex from our wives and g… Read more

Posted by buggiebug10 20 hours ago 278

Daddy's Helper

TabooSex Humor

"Tell me a story, Daddy." Martina was settled in next to me on the sofa, snuggling and cuddling after our dinner, in the mood not for a television show, but one of my stories. "Tell me a fun one!" By that, she meant a naughty one. She liked those. Our bedtime stories and after-dinner time had become more and more intimate since we'd been living on our own. "Tell me the one about when Yvette was your helper at that concert." . . . . . Oh yes. I recalled. That was the day I played a 4th Of July picnic, filling in for the regular guitarist with a band I used to jam with. Yvette had begged… Read more

Posted by Stiffenpurple 1 day ago 2,747 89%

Shyby-x ( Bianca Dittert )

Sex Humor

Name: Bianca Dittert Gebursort: Erfurt Wohnort: Eisenach Geburtsdatum: 23.4.89 Familienstand:verlobt Kinder:2 Wie alt? Junge 5, Mädchen 11 Hast du schon einmal abgetrieben? ja Körpchengröße:75c Taillenumfang:92 Bauchumfang:71 Kopf Haarfarbe:Blond Kopf Haarlänge:Schulterlang Schamhaar Farbe: Dunkelblond Schamhaar länge:rasiert Wenn Rasiert wann das erste mal: 13 Wie sieht deine Pussy aus: hübsch Augenfarbe:blau Größe:166 Gewicht:62 Tatoos:3 Piercing:1 Slipgröße:40 BH grö… Read more

Posted by shybyx 1 day ago 470 100%

Esther Stone part 2

Group SexSex Humor

When Esther had woken up the next morning laying next to Romeo, she almost freaked out, but the all of the memories from the night before flooded into her brain. "Oh god." She sat up and looked at Romeo's sleeping figure next to her, his teal hair was tossed about the pillow, and he chest heaved up and down, Damn he is so hot, she thought, I acted kind of crazy last night, her face burned, ugh, what the fuck was wrong with her these days? She felt Romeo's body shift a little and her heart sped up, what am I supposed to say to him? She though, his eyes opened, "Hey." He said smiling. How can y… Read more

Posted by Junia20 3 days ago 1,296 50%

حكايتي , قصة واقعيه

HardcoreSex HumorTaboo

<div style="direction: rtl;"></div><div style="direction: rtl;"> انا عصام لما خلصت دراستي الجامعية رحت الخليج و اشتغلت مهندس بشركة خاصة قعدت بالخليج حوالي 11سنة خلال الفتره دي كتبت كتابي على وحده وبعد كم شهر فركشنا و بعدها بفتره تجوزت وحده تانيه و استمرت الجوازه حوالي سنه و نص و طلقنا بسبب الخلفه, سنة 2014 الشركة اللي بشتغل فيها افلست و سرحت حوالي 70 موظف و من ضمنهم انا و صرفولي اتعابي و تعويض مناسب , دورت على شغل ملقيتش فاخدت قرار اني ارجع بلدي و كنت خلال فتره غربتي اشتريت شقه و فرشتها و رجعت بلدي و بالفلوس اللي معايا و بشراكه مع صديق فتحنا مكتب هندسي . كان عندي وقت فراغ كبير و انا مليش… Read more

Posted by happyhuppy 4 days ago 1 683 100%

The Cheerleader Harem: Part 1

Sex HumorMasturbationVoyeur

She was the head cheerleader. I was the guy she didn’t know existed. It’s not like I was ugly or anti-social, I just didn’t want anything to do with the herd of preppy douchebags she hung out with. They all looked the same, spent more on their clothing than on their tuition and everything they said got on my nerves, but despite all that, the thing that I hated the most was that they reminded me a lot of the person I was, back in high school. However, my plan to avoid them became impossible when a few guys from my Russian 103 class dragged me to a party, early on in the school year. My stomach… Read more

Posted by Rags2Richardson 5 days ago 1,283 100%

Zerbrochenes Vergnügen

AnalSex HumorTaboo

Keine 2 Jahre ist es nun her gewesen... Als wir miteinander schlussmachten, muss ich zugeben... war ich wohl der treibende Faktor. Selbst dass sich das stetige Gefühl bestätigte, dass etwas nicht stimmte und sie mir fremdging bzw. gehen würde, machte für mich im Einzelnden die Situation nicht weniger Schmerzhaft oder fairer, selbst ihr gegenüber. Doch muss ich sagen, dass es warscheinlich so am besten gewesen ist, da ich in der Beziehung wohl nur in die Enge gedrängt und mich gefangen gefühlt, aber auch sie und ihr wesen Aufgerieben hätte... (wer will schon in einer Beziehung enden, in der… Read more

Posted by Baerenmarke85 6 days ago 286

Schweinchen Tick

Sex HumorFetishTaboo

Schweinchen Tick Ein modernes, kurzweiliges Märchen. Ich bin Tick, naja nicht wirklich, aber mein Ebername lautet so. In Wirklichkeit und meiner wahren menschlichen Gestalt heiße ich Rick. Nur grad eben nicht. Ich bin ein Schwein, in echt, kein Spaß sondern bitterer Ernst. Klar, gelacht habe ich auch als diese doofe Hexe mich hasserfüllt angeschrien hat. ,, Du wirst für deine Arroganz büßen. Nur so lange, bis es durch der wahren Liebe Kuss, der Zauber aufgehoben wird. Du wirst mit anderen Schweinen am Trog fressen und dich im Schlamm suhlen. Doch eines sei dir vergönnt. Dein Schwanz soll der… Read more

Posted by Heilfee 6 days ago 1 359 100%

226 JULIE KNEW IN REALITY

First TimeSex Humor

226 JULIE KNEW IN REALITY. Her name was Julie, she is a pretty, 5ft 2” blonde, 34d perky breasts, a tidy bubble butt and a slim-waist, men would die for... in your dreams… sadly that’s not true, the real Julie is 5ft 4” dirty blonde, 36 34 38 and everything setting off south if it wasn’t for the support of a good bra and a strong corset. She is married to a no hope, layabout, gambling, drinker called Mac, Mac `s last job was milk monitor at the school, where they met. Julie is deeply in love with Mac, always has been and always will be, it has been her downfall, and she knew it. Julie woul… Read more

Posted by alibodge 7 days ago 1 575 33%

Sexy Coffe

FetishMatureSex Humor

Sitting down at a coffee enjoying the rich smooth taste of my coffee after the first sip, this guy start’s to wave’s at me? Alright might be to the people behind me or to his girlfriend if he has one, (he is sexy cute) any ways he doesn’t stop waving. Like what is wrong with this dude. My friend join’s me a while later and as we get talking she sees him waving as well. And waves back, I very politely tell her “what the hell are you doing?” Her simple reply was something I did not expect but laughed at, “Waving back, he looks lonely.” We both stopped to laugh at her reply as a sexy guy like t… Read more

Posted by Angel2rose1 11 days ago 3,014

Sexy Coffee

Sex HumorFetishAnal

Sitting down at a coffee enjoying the rich smooth taste of my coffee after the first sip, this guy start’s to wave’s at me? Alright might be to the people behind me or to his girlfriend if he has one, (he is sexy cute) any ways he doesn’t stop waving. Like what is wrong with this dude. My friend join’s me a while later and as we get talking she sees him waving as well. And waves back, I very politely tell her “what the hell are you doing?” Her simple reply was something I did not expect but laughed at, “Waving back, he looks lonely.” We both stopped to laugh at her reply as a sexy guy like… Read more

Posted by Angel2rose1 11 days ago 3,713 50%

A sex drive

MasturbationFetishSex Humor

Hi, this is my one more story. I have written it with the help of a story I read in a book. Its about a boy who had a dream. A dream or one can say a fantasy. Please share your suggestion after you read the story. Now the fantasy in view of the boy. Its all about a fantasy I had for a girl. Her name is Deepti( name change). She is tall, very young about my half age. Her figure stands very attractive with 32 breast and 36 hips. The personality drives me to dream about her. Keeping her in my mind I was driving through the express way to pune. It was my second day of my new car ‘black corvette’.… Read more

Posted by roja4uindians 11 days ago 1,440 67%

YO BITCH! YOU JUST GAVE ME SHITCOCK!

Gay MaleInterracial SexSex Humor

I awoke because a huge cock head was forcing its way into my asshole! It was my boyfriend Tylar and he was on top of me I could feel his cheek stubble chaffing the side of my neck...I said " You couldn't do this last night? You know I haven't purged myself yet right?" Tylar just grunted when his black dick wanted ass-pussy there was no denying him! "I woke up hard saw your ass sticking up and decided to fuck it just shut up and take it bitch!" He said he knows I like it when he talks nigger to me so I raised my ass up higher and said "Go for it then but don't blame me if it gets… Read more

Posted by laceysgirl 11 days ago 1 6,977 88%

Ol' Rusty Sniffs Out a Kitty

MasturbationMatureSex Humor

I grew up in the Blue Ridge mountains of West By God Virginia. When I was eighteen I was in the woods hunting squirrels one early October morning with my red bone hound,Rusty. We had been walking for a couple miles when rusty took off running and disappeared into the woods. I called out for him but he didn't come back to me. I tried whistling too but he still didn't return. So I started out in the direction he had gone. I walked for about a mile or so when I came upon a clearing with an old log cabin, a small barn and a chicken house. I immediately became worried that Rusty had gone after th… Read more

Posted by UncleDale 12 days ago 1 2,369 100%

Big Black Dick in the Hood (A semi-autobiographica

Sex Humor

Big Black Dick in the Hood (A semi-autobiographical fairy tale) Once upon a time, on a warm summer day, there was a big, strong man named Big Black Dick in the Hood. Big Black Dick in the Hood worked as a delivery driver for the neighborhood grocery store. One day, The manager of the grocery store said, "Big Black Dick in the Hood, I need you to take these goodies to Grandma's house, over at the Senior Living apartments. After that, you can clock out and go home." "Okay!" said Big Black Dick in the Hood. So Big Black Dick in the Hood drove his car to take the goodies to Grandma's house. Whe… Read more

Posted by sweetbjames 13 days ago 796

love from the dumpster

Sex HumorMasturbation

DUMPSTER LOVE or THE HORRORS OF PLUSHOPHILLIA Can't sleep. It's three A.M. My head hurts. A little hungover.... still d***k.... I go for a walk. It's overcast and dark. And cold. The wind bit my face like needles. A good 24 below. The snow lay knee-deep, and everywhere splashed with the omnipresent brown filth of late winter. I spark a joint and trudge aimlessly... my boots crunching on the dirty ice as I went. Grim.... Santa didn't come this year... There was garbage everywhere, frozen to the ground, peering out of the rotted snow berms. Interesting what builds up under the snow.… Read more

Posted by smiggo 13 days ago 544 100%

Flashing Myself For Free Coffee

FetishSex HumorVoyeur

On 16 November, 2017, after several days of travel from Zagreb, Croatia, my boyfriend and I arrived at a small town along the Oregon coast. Now, almost two weeks later, we're leaving for our walk up to Canada. This Oregon town is okay but what I'll remember most about it is how I flashed myself so I could get free coffee. The boyfriend and me have been staying at this little mom & pop motel in the center of town. I'm an early riser and the first thing I need in the morning after doing my morning masturbation is a good cup of coffee. Fortunately, just around the corner is a convenience store… Read more

Posted by Aussie_Pam 13 days ago 10 1,659 100%

Swing Park Encounter

HardcoreSex Humor

Swing Park Encounter Met Andrea in the swing park purely by chance, remembered her from the same year of school and always liked her, her figure is so enticing you couldn’t help but stare at her. Plus she liked people looking at her as I recall. Now we’re 26 years old and a bit wiser. I’m coming from the road and she’s making her way out towards me, her big chest, sexily bouncing and swinging from side to side and her hips swaying in a short pink skirt. Man even now she’s such a stunner. “Hey! Looking good there Andie, haven't seen you in years, how come you’re in the village?” “Mom’s not w… Read more

Posted by monkeymonkey42 14 days ago 1,180 100%
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