Old xHamster

Sex Humor Porn Stories


MatureGroup SexSex Humor

I had just turned 65 and received my Medicare card. My wife was bugging me to get a complete physical (and a prescription for Viagra). Now I have been to many doctors over my lifetime but if anyone is going to stick their finger up my ass and hold my balls while I cough, I prefer a female doctor. Dr. Mia Kim who gave me a complete going over including the usual digital probe and ball cupping. I detected a slight smile cross her face when I began to get hard as she held my balls. Later when I asked for the Viagra prescription she asked if it was really necessary. As she wrote the prescription… Read more

Posted by Adommann 8 hours ago 1 1,702 100%


Sex Humor

295 IT’S A DOGS LIFE [Translated from the original passed to me by an interpreter from Battersea] God why is it humans think we dogs always want the same old dog food, day after day, after bloody day… He`s worse, she at least occasionally shoves some of his lousy cooking under my nose its lousy, but it makes a change. My name by the way is Montmorency Major the third, he refers to me as Monty I of course but I am a hybrid Irish wolf hound from a long line of stud dogs, though granddad did have the snip eventually, but we don’t talk about him much nowadays, had an affair with a spaniel don’t… Read more

Posted by alibodge 2 days ago 2 1,404 80%

293 Mile high with Sarah

Sex Humor

293 Mile high with Sarah Sarah was at this time a fairly flat chested youngster of shall we say just under 20, she`s never got much bigger than 32b even now, so no hourglass figure, not catwalk materiel, or a bra advertisement but a bright good looking lass, who like other collage age k**s was up for most things, and there are few on here that would turn her from his bed, me especially! she`s got something that attracts us men, don’t ask me what specifically, but, well… there is something and she knows it, vivacious, exciting, and open, don’t start to get close! That later she became a sexual… Read more

Posted by alibodge 2 days ago 840 100%

Heavenly Fruits – Part 2

HardcoreTabooSex Humor

I kept enjoying the heavenly fruit of my daddy for next ten days. Mom and my younger brother were likely to come back from abroad the very next day. Moreover daddy was also likely to go abroad for an official visit after three days. So we wanted to quench our sexual desire to the maximum before their arrival. I squirted my heavenly drink while riding on daddy’s mouth twice and daddy… Read more

Posted by sweatyniki274 2 days ago 3 1,068 100%

Marrying My Brother

HardcoreTabooSex Humor

I am officially unmarried but I am secretly married to my k** brother who is only 23.he is a software engineer and we live together we are Mallus we have three sisters in between us. k**dy is younger by 10 years to my youngest sister soon after I got a job after my post graduation our father passed away he was a heavy drunkard soon after our mother also left us. This brought the responsibility of the family on me of course father had left us enough money so I managed one by one I married off all the three siste… Read more

Posted by sweatyniki274 2 days ago 2 2,849 75%


HardcoreTabooSex Humor

it was me and my brother who was a year younger than me living in a three room apartment. I was emotionally attached with my daddy whereas my brother was attached to mom. I always used to enjoy lying on daddy’s soft belly and would often do it whenever an opportunity existed, particularly after lunch when mom and dad used to have afternoon siesta. Mom had always been a hard sleeper and would sleep even under all the lights on and television playing at full volume. She would not wake up even if there was an ear… Read more

Posted by sweatyniki274 2 days ago 2 1,607 100%

Customer Service - Part Five

MatureSex HumorHardcore

"I will remain here, just to make sure there are no problems. It's not our policy to provide customer service without proper training, but since we are doing so I should stay here." Goodman went over to Miss Schwartz, took her by the arm, and led her to the table. He leaned her back against it. He rubbed his cock along her pussy, front to back, a few times, then lined it up and pushed slowly in. When he reached her hymen, he stopped. She seemed almost to be holding her breath. He said, "You could have gone to a doctor, your own or the company doctor, and he would have given you a local anesth… Read more

Posted by DirtyDan1952 2 days ago 599 100%

Customer Service - Part Six

MatureSex HumorHardcore

He went out to a nearby, inexpensive restaurant. While he was eating, a woman went by, immediately in front of him through the window, crossed the street, and went into the bank. Abruptly, he recognized that it had been Miss Schwartz. She must have taken the morning off, he thought, for she looked entirely different. Her hair was still gray, but not so dull, and it had been cut and styled. Her clothes were very attractive on her, too, suitable for a woman of her position, not casual but not overly fancy, and well fitted. There was no visible hair on her face. He wondered whether she had plans… Read more

Posted by DirtyDan1952 2 days ago 431 100%

Customer Service - Part Four

MatureSex HumorHardcore

Goodman could see that, behind her, Miss Fuchs's jaw had dropped and her face was a picture of "I never was trained in Customer Satisfaction. No one ever scheduled me for it. I can only conclude that no one thought I would ever need such training." The KISSME rules stated plainly, in section 81 (c) (5) (f), that all eligible employees, of all eligible employers, were to receive this training. Penalties were prescribed for non-compliance, both fines and, well, Miss Fuchs stated them, so we will let her speak. "Mr. Goodman, in addition to the fine, not to mention all the paperwork I will have… Read more

Posted by DirtyDan1952 2 days ago 346 100%

Customer Service - Part One

MatureSex HumorHardcore

Customer Service Rodney Goodman walked into the car dealership, passing a sign which said, "Belchfire Motors. I guarantee your complete satisfaction. J. P. Bulgebottom, President." He went through another door into the parts department, going to the end of the line. When his turn came, he presented two pieces of paper to the woman behind the counter. "Last week I placed this order for the part described, which I need so I can fix my car. It won't run without it. I was promised that it would arrive on Friday at the latest. But here it is Tuesday, and it hasn't arrived. Here is the latest tra… Read more

Posted by DirtyDan1952 2 days ago 1,347 100%

Customer Service - Part Two

MatureSex HumorHardcore

By 2020, the American public had pretty much become fed up with those oxymorons, "customer service" and "customer satisfaction". With synthesized-voice menus that never included the option one was looking for. With multi-hour time on hold to reach a human being. With representatives who apologized, who said they took responsibility but refused to actually fix a problem. With errors that, if they were ever fixed, required endless amounts of the customer's time and, sometimes, endless phone minutes. The public was ready to demand that Something Must Be Done. And what is government for, if not to… Read more

Posted by DirtyDan1952 2 days ago 588 100%

Customer Service - Part Three

MatureSex HumorHardcore

Among the overly-detailed provisions of the Customer Satisfaction law, the conditions governing spanking were a little gem. Spanking was permitted so long as it was done on the buttocks only, with an open hand, and did not produce bruises or injuries of any kind. The total time devoted to spanking in any one session was not to exceed five minutes, and a maximum number of spanks per minute was specified, which was not be exceeded, under threat of serious penalties. Legend had it that the two co-authors and sponsors of the original bill had asked a female page to help them with some unspecified… Read more

Posted by DirtyDan1952 2 days ago 526 100%

Episode 88: Copenhagen Conference

Lesbian SexMasturbationSex Humor

Author’s Note This story is part of a mini-series that started with a little girl called Grace going shopping with her Dad for a new black bikini in Episode 83. No characters in this episode are real except for Alia (sorry babe – only a brief mention) and Lola G-spot (who might be able to read it if she ever gets her PC working properly). All events are purely the result of my warped imagination. At the time of writing, I believe that no SexBots are quite as advanced as Suchi – we wait in hope. Session One “Good Morning delegates – I hope you have all recovered from last nigh… Read more

Posted by dasx2 3 days ago 696 60%

Silkie goes to a porn theater (1970)@2016

First TimeSex HumorVoyeur

"How does that feel, Leo, if I push my ass on you like that? How does that feel, baby?" " If he comes before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed. Can't have that. I need to come, I really need it, I don't think he is going to last very long." "One thing I learned about getting it in my ass is that I can rub myself as hard and fast as I want, the dick never gets in the way, and the guy is still fucking me like crazy................" " 'I was masturbating as hard as I could. He had his arms around me,The feeling I was getting from Leo pumping it into me as I did that was way beyond words. I took… Read more

Posted by BettyBStanky 3 days ago 1 1,141 67%

Sexual liberation - the university years

Sex Humor

7 years after leaving Europe, here I was again in the capital of Belgium. I was enrolled in ULB studying Management and Marketing and was staying in a student apartment complex near Tenbosh Park. My parents and little sister were just 2 hrs drive away and my elder sister was doing her PhD at another university. I visited them 2-3 times a month and the rest of the time was enjoying student life. Breaking up with N. made me reluctant to get in a committed relationship. I was a free spirit – enjoying life…having sex companions rather than boyfriends – no commitment – no issues. Parties were ve… Read more

Posted by sandh78 4 days ago 2 528 100%

My Girlfriends Family

Sex HumorHardcoreTaboo

I started seeing my girlfriend Hannah when we were in college, she was a hot redhead with a few freckles on her nose, a great toned body that she kept fit with regular trips to the gym, and a nice cleavage that you could sit a beer bottle between, although she will belt you for doing it. Now, I had met her parents briefly a couple of times when they had come to visit her, and both of them seemed really nice, her father Rob Green was tall, well built and funny, and her mother Zoe Green looked very similar to her daughter, a fit redhead with a similar size cleavage and always asked how I was. Th… Read more

Posted by bighornycock123 5 days ago 2 6,236 100%

Sister chooses to help him break addiction.

First TimeHardcoreSex Humor

Chapter 1 It was a late Friday night and I had just returned to my room after watching TV with my sister, Sara. I was pretty tired, but I had been looking forward to getting online to view some new porn and get myself off after a tough week at school. I was twenty and going to a two year school to get certified as an auto mechanic. With all the dirty jokes we guys threw around during class, I always came home with a bit of a buzz. I sat down and started browsing to some of my favorite sites. I was already in my boxers and I was just about to pull my dick out when I heard a quick knock on my… Read more

Posted by Maria9810 5 days ago 1 1,401 100%

Grêve de train

FetishSex HumorVoyeur

Aujourd'hui, voyager s'annonçait compliqué. Je m'arme de patience et de zen attitude. Mon quai de départ s'affiche et comme d'autres voyageurs je suis le mouvement. Devant moi se trouve une demoiselle en détresse avec une valise immense (et sûrement lourde) avec une poignée cassée. Je lui propose mon aide avec un grand sourire, elle accepté volontiers et je la monte (la valise !!! Pas la demoiselle ;p ). Une fois sur le quai on bavarde un peu, je la mate discrètement : belle petite brunette avec un chignon, un joli sourire et un blouson léger qui cache ses seins, contrairement à son pantalon… Read more

Posted by toptop2217 5 days ago 202 100%

having a nice session with her Papa…

TabooSex HumorHardcore

A lovely lustful adventure of dad and daughter… Rajesh is a 48 years old guy, working as a manager for one of the reputed banks. His family consisted of his wife Savitri (45) and two beautiful daughters Nisha (23) who's married now and Esha(21) who's marriage is fixed. Although Rajesh was 48, he looked… Read more

Posted by sweatyniki274 7 days ago 1 2,275 75%

My Dad! Best Dad In The World--1

TabooSex HumorInterracial Sex

I am doing my graduation. I am 5 feet 5 inch tall and age is 21.I am little bit fatty but have adorable figure. My boobs are big as compare to my age girl. My father is working in bank at clerk position. He is very caring and calm at home but at the same he is very strict on me .we are four sisters and two elder sister are married. Now i am living my litter sister and mom. Litter sister always listen to me .Mom is most of time on bed as she is not well and suffer from knee join pain. Now i am starting my sto… Read more

Posted by sweatyniki274 7 days ago 2,895 71%
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